Post by leethality101 on Nov 20, 2023 0:53:20 GMT -5
With a flicker and a pop, the screen came to life to reveal what appeared to be a set wholly inspired by a combination of a 1980's news program and the more modern stage of late night talk shows. With a second flicker the camera abruptly cut from the God-like wide shot that had shown the large tacky desk and it's accompanying couch to that of a more close up view in which the presumed anchor was supposed to be. With a third flicker a woman wearing a kimono and a silver kitsune mask appear in the host's chair before a fourth had the woman replaced by another; a short blonde with a smile in which made you instantly aware of their annoying prowess.
"Welcome one and all to yet another exhilarating edition of the Fox Repoooort! I'm the hostess with the mostest, and bestest friend of the "Shimmering Kitsune", the "Midwestern Mayhem" Ryan Loooo-gan!"
Laughing with a big exaggerated grin, Ryan pounded the top of the desk with both palms before abruptly swiveling around on the chair in which she sat. Excessive energy much? Nevertheless, the camera zoomed out to reveal that one Jessie Lee; the reigning This Is Awesome Women's Champion and Big Titty Goth Dommy Mommy to all; was sitting on the end of the couch closest to the desk. Considering that she hadn't been there during the earlier establishing shot only meant that this so-called "show" had some funky magical stuff going on; that or really ~REALLY~ stellar editing. Even so, Jessie appeared completely relaxed as she sat with one leg crossed over the other; the TIA Women's Championship golden sheen standing out from behind the unbuttoned black blazer of the dark Armani the Aussie wore.
"AH-KNEE-WAYS, as y'all can tell we here at the Fox Report have opted to screw off with the usual shenanigans! Why? "Cause we already got our super special guest right here!"
With cartoonishly loud cheering erupting from somewhere off screen, Jessie could only smile and wave before settling back into the couch; not entirely sure what was going on as Craig, her assistant in the Action Wrestling group "Tailor Made For Greatness", was the one that had arranged this.....oddness.
"That's right ladies and gents! It's the Aussie Assault herself, Jessie mother effin' LEEEEEEE! LET'S EFFIN' GOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Slapping her palms against the table top in a psudeo drum solo, a second round of cartoonishly loud cheering abruptly sounded; leaving Jessie awkwardly smiling. Clearly this.....level of enthusiasm wasn't something that she had been expecting. Normally interviews were mellow or had some sort gimmick like Hot Ones. This? This just seemed to be mid two thousands teenage randomness with energy to spare! Somebody send help!
"Alrighty-roo! Without further adieu, take it away Momma Domma!"
Drumming the top of the desk for a third time, the so called "host" motioned for the sitting Aussie to take it away! Yet, despite the energy that Miss Logan was putting on display all Jessie could do was look at her stage maate awkwardly; questioning everything from what Logan was expecting her to do to all of her choices in life thus far.
"Take what away?" Jessie asked as she internally continued questioning everything.
"THIS," Ryan replied "the show, ya know? You show up, do your Dommy Mommy thing where all the boys come to the yard and we big old ratings out the wazoo! The perfect plan!"
"Riiiight," Jessie drawled "clearly ya don't get how this is supposed to go."
"What do you mean? We're already getting big ratings! See? Out formatting has gone all wonky and we're confusing the effin' hell out of our viewers! FLAWLESS VICTORY"
"Oh dear God." Jessie groaned as she leaned back; pinching the bridge of her nose as Ryan Logan laughed away.
"Gods are silly things!" Ryan blurted as her unhinged laughter echoed throughout the studio.
"ENOUGH![/b]"[/font] Jessie screamed as she shot to her feet and slammed the palms of her hands down onto the desk; staring the blonde directly in the eye. "I came here for a bloody fuckin' interview an' not some spider fuckin' waste of time with some loony toon hyped on meth!"
"But I'm not on meth." Ryan interjected hesitantly.
"Listen to me carefully," the angered TIA Women's Champion said in a menacing tone "I. Do. Not. Give. A. Fuck. Just do your damn job an' everythin' will work the fuck out. Shit's important."
"How important?"
"Super important."
"Like what?"
"Like how I'm currently ranked fifth in the Last Man Standing competition or how I influenced Selena Frost's rookie to do somethin' stupid?"
"That sounds both impressive and concerning!"
"You bet your goofy ass they are! Selena ain't nothin' but a dumb cunt that somehow still acts like she's a newbie despite bein' in this sport for a decade or more an' has left her mark. She's a lyin' cunt that thinks buildin' herself into some kinda false hero when all she is doin' is pissin' me off with her blatant disregard for the intelligence of the smarks watching around the world!"
"Really?"
"YES! At this point nobody involved with that damned island fuckin' matters! I'mma take that fraudulent bish out one way or another and people are gonna LOVE it!"
"How're you going to accomplish that? That Frosty lady sounds pretty smart."
"Tune into Liberation Frequency at the end of the year and find out."
"Liberation Frequency? What's that?"
"The latest industry wide cross promotional event that's going to drown the Oakland Metro in blood."
"Like......biblically?"
"Biblically."
"Oooooooh.....that's a scary thought."
"Ya better fuckin' believe it."
Falling silent, both women continued to stare each other down. That is, until Jessie let out a sigh of exasperation and took her place back upon the cushions of the guest couch. The tension slowly evaporating from her facial features.
"So yeah; you gotta ask things like that during an interview. Simple right?"
"Really!" Ryan exclaimed as she nodded in agreement.
"Good," Jessie said with a grin "Now we can begin."
"But," the hostess questioned "didn't we already begin? I mean, you already gave us the skinny on Last Man Standing and teased whatever the Liberation Frequency is. What more could there be?"
"What do you mean?" Jessie questioned back as she sat up straight; violent tension rising once more "What about the return of Havoc Wrestling's WAR where I get to make Eden Sterling's face into paste or how about my recent signing with Limitless Wrestling where I'm gettin' a crack at the Evenscent strap second match in? HM? What about that?"
"What about them?" Ryan responded flippantly.
Bone head move.
With a strange mixture of exasperation and anger upon her face the Dommy Mommy Jessie Lee stood up once more, shimmied the blazer from her shoulders, undid the TIA Women's Championship from around her waist and dove for Ryan Logan's throat with a murderous look in her eyes! However, before any disturbing violence could be aired, the camera cut to black before the intro graphic faded back in to signal the end.