C*nt Fest 2: C*nt Harder
Dec 3, 2022 21:07:15 GMT -5
"Ginger Ninja" Molly Hatchet and Xavier Lux like this
Post by shawnwarstein on Dec 3, 2022 21:07:15 GMT -5
One of the greatest Pro Rasslin Events of all time was held in your lifetime. Did you miss it? Or were you there? YOU MISSED IT?!?! What are you a chump? Roll the footage…
There. Are we all caught up?
SooooOooooooooOoooo
From one half of the combined brain of the Sick C*nts. Shawn Warstein once again has his hands on a Premium Live Event card.
Last time we saw a man go up against a sentient car and lose. We saw a top title relegated to non main event status.
We watched Shawn and Noah fight in three matches between them and come out on top in all three of them.
Once again coming from The Great Victoria Desert in lovely South Western Australia is none other than…
C*NT FEST2: C*NT HARDER
(Graphics Pending. Also probably never going to make one. Sue me.)
(Got the Song Tho, that counts yeah?)
Match One:
Japanese Strong Style
Just Joking. It’s a “Tools Of The Trade” Match
All weapons available
First Pin Fall with a Five Count Wins
Shawn Warstein -v- Peter Vaughn
(Segment: After a close match, Shawn takes the mic and thanks all the Roo Lovers for showing up again. Says RIP to Noah. The crowd chants “He’s Not Dead”, and Shawn cheekily says “Sabbatical? More like Gender Reassignment Surgery.” He then waves on for the next Match and takes his spot at the commentary desk.)
Match Two:
Texas Tornado Tag Team Match.
Fuck It. Throw in a Coal Miners mit in there while we are at it.
Candice Wolf-Page and Sarah Wolf -v- Amber Bane and Molly Hatchet
(Segment: In the backstage area Lewis Chad Pinkston and Ophelia Pain-Pinkston are trying to help Joe by placing weapons that aren’t usually found in a bathroom before security stops them.)
Match Three:
The Piss Break Match.
No Seriously. Go to the Bathroom that’s where it’s at.
The match takes place entirely in a bathroom. Men’s or Woman’s 🤷♂️, but I’m sure the wall between them isn’t that sturdy.
Bonus Points if you give one of your opponents a swirly and call them a nerd.
Joe Montuori -v- Lex Collins -v- Selina Frost
(Segment: A standard Vegemite Ad followed by one for Velveeta Cheese. There, an actual bathroom Break.)
Match Four:
Velveeta Cheese Match
A Pool of delicious Cheese is the ring.
That’s it. That’s the Hook
Dionysus -v- Vhodka Black -v- John Cable -v- Reegan Voohrees
(Segment: An Ad showing how great Shawn Warstein is. The Aussies absolutely love it, everyone else…. Not so much. The camera then shows the three men in the Main Event preparing for their match.)
Main Event:
Three Way Iron Man Match
(60 Minute Time Limit)
Raion Kido -v- Allen Chaney -v- Xavier Lux
(Final Segment: As soon as the winner is declared after a grueling match Shawn slides into the ring and levels them with an Ego Trip. He hops to his feet and bows for the crowd.)
(Final Final Segment: As Shawn is getting the praise from the fans, all three competitors in the Main Event jump Shawn. Stomping him to the mat. Each man hits their Finisher before the other two men hold up the winners arm in victory.)
(Cut The Feed)