Post by jasonryan on Nov 21, 2022 1:37:06 GMT -5
A short chubby man with gray hair and blue eyes is sitting in a plump red velvet chair in front of a brick wall. Beside him in his own chair is Jason Ryan wearing blue jeans and a New oreleans Saints T-Shirt and Baseball cap. Both men have glasses of ice water on end tables beside them
Johnathon Seymour Buns: Hello everyone and welcome to this installment of Behind the curtain! The show that allows you to view your favorite wrestlers without the character! And joining me today is Jason Ryan. For those of you who don't know, Jason has been wrestling for about eight years now, he has been in many federations and has managed to make quite the name for himself. But I'll leave it to the man himself to properly introduce himself!
Jason: Hey everyone. I'm Jason Ryan... Enough said.
Johnathon: Well, let's get right to it, Jason I know you are a busy an and I would like to thank you for agreeing to appear on the show.
Jason: Admittedly I haven't been as busy as I usually am, I am getting back into acting again so I am really focused on that, and most of the federations I wrestle for are on hiatus so I can somewhat kick back and relax.
Johnathon: Well I don't want to waste your time so let's get started with What A Dick.
Jason ( Laughing): I love this game!
( Johnathon reached beside his chair and pulls out a bag with an image of a large, glorious, amazing, god-tier-looking penis on the front.)
Jonathon: Okay so I am going to go through some names, and if they're cool we'll leave them out. And if they're a dick, they go in the bag. For starters, Marker.
Jason: Cool mother fucker. My first ever tag partner, I love that man. Sadly he is out of the business now but I loved teaming with him, and I credit him for helping me a lot when I was first getting started.
Johnathon: Okay. Buddy Ace.
Jason: Nah he's cool. One of my favorite rivalries. I will say I do wish he would get back in the game, he is one of my all-time favorite opponents of mine. That Hell in a Cell match at BPZ King of the Ring remains in my top ten matches I've had. Myself and Buddy Ace had a lot of fun in the ring and outside the ring.
Johnathon: And he was there for the Tampa Incident.
Jason (groans): Oh gods! I wish I could forget.
Johnathon: ( laughing): I am gonna have to ask you about that at the end of the show, you know that right?
Jason: Ah damn it.
Johnathon: Julius.
Jason: My brother. Love that guy to pieces.
Johnathon: Echo Wilson
Jason: My favorite rival, my feud with him in 2018 put me on the map. He and I were the only ones to main event a BPZ show for a midcard title. Our Circus Deathmatch at BPZ Halloween Havoc in 2018 is still my favorite match. Me and Echo never had a bad moment together.
Johnathon: Ross.
Jason: Dick.
Johnathon ( puts the name in the bag): Would you care to elaborate?
Jason: I... I don't want to be seen as starting shit but he is someone who was just hard to get along with back then. Now I'm sure he has changed since then, this was back in 2018 but back then he was really hard to get along with. You never knew what mood he was in. Sometimes he was amazing, other times he would go out of his way to give someone shit. He wasn't all bad but he was a dick for the most part.
Johnathon: Gill
Jason: Smug prick. Put him in the bag.
( Johnathon grabs another name as Jason takes a sip of water)
Johnathon: Brendan Hendrix.
Jason: Fucking love him. When we first started working together, it was his idea to use his heart issues in our feud. And I always admired him for being willing to do all that shit. I do wish his heart issues weren't so prevalent because they do sadly hinder what he can do in the ring. But we had a fantastic feud with great matches. I love the guy, his mom is an absolute sweetheart and his dad is one of the coolest fuckers in the world. I don't have a bad thing to say about him.
Johnathon: Jeremiah Flynn.
( Jason briefly bows his head in respect before looking up) Jeremiah had always been cool to me then we started working in 2019 and I saw what a great fucker he was. Jeremiah really helped me get back to where I used to be in BPZ and I will always be grateful for that. Sadly he is no longer with us and I miss him very much.
Johnathon: Speaking of the Flynns, his brother, Gunner Flynn.
( Jason laughs and takes the piece of paper with the name.) I want to make it clear that me putting him in the back is just me playing HaHa. I have nothing but love for Gunner, one of my best friends in the business. But he'd put me in the bag if he had the chance so I'll put him in the bag.
Johnathon: Damon Warrens.
Jason: Love him. He is the reason I became APW champion. I hold our feud in the same regard as my feud with Echo and with the one I have with Buster Gloves. There is something we have every time we lock up. I loved working with him and I wish he would come back.
Johnathon: Amber Payne.
Jason: She's one of my favorites. I remember when we started working with each other, I think it was after our first match, we were in catering together just discussing things and I was like " you're gonna be the top babyface around here in a couple years." I would call myself a fan of hers. I mean, I am a fan of everyone in Level Up. I don't say this lightly but the talent of Level UP reminds me of BPZ 2018, which is why I am having so much fun there. Amber Payne has all the tools in my opinion and she's done to try anything if you work with her. I could go one but I'll leave it there.
Johnathon: And lastly, Buster Gloves.
Jason: My feud with him, I'd consider to be part of the Trinity of my best feuds along with Echo and Damon. Buster is so much fun to work with and the funny thing is my feud with him wasn't supposed to happen. Brendan had to pull out of our match at Doom due to his heart which is why I was off that card and management come up to me and tell me I would be working with Buster next week and I was told that this was more or less a test to see how I would fit in. So Buster and I really put our heads together to not only deliver a great match but a great story which we did. And when we got backstage we actually got a standing ovation because we beat the hell out of each other and the crowd for that one was hot. And ever since then, anytime we get in the ring, it's fantastic. I could never put him in the bag. He could have just done a by the numbers match since I was still brand new in Level Up but he wanted to see what I could do and was willing to make me look good. Anytime the person I am working with is willing to put the story before themselves, they earn my respect.
Johnathon: Okay. Now for the next part of the show, we asked fans to send us questions for you so we'll look at those now. This one comes from Vincent in North Carolina and it says, " Jason, if you could go back and compete in any three matches all over again, which would they be and why?"
Jason ( sighs and takes a drink of water) Man. Lots of great choices. I have been fortunate to get in the ring with so many talented people. I'll say the match with myself and Echo for the BPZ Premium championship at Haloween Havoc in 2018. That Circus Deathmatch we had is my all-time favorite match of mine, I still go back and watch it. I would love to fight him again.
My second match would have to be myself and Sarah vs Amber and Buster when we had that parking lot brawl. Because that was a fucking loony tone! Fun fact, we had to quit rehearsal for that match twice because I couldn't stop laughing. All four of us went balls to the wall in that, obviously it wasn't supposed to be serious and when Sarah tried to run them over on that motorcycle I buckled. And we had to cut a lot of things out. A lot of people didn't like that match o the internet, I got a lot of shit from fans on the internet but I personally love matches like that. Matches that are hardcore and brutal but you can't help but laugh watching it. It's a action movie and who doesn't love action movies?
And my third match..... Me and Damon Warrens for the APW World Title. I wasn't supposed to be there but Damon needed tie off and he and I had a great level of respect for each other so when it came time for him to drop the belt, he insisted I be the one to beat him. And he was the face of APW, he was the top guy. And to have someone like that go to bat for me meant a lot to me and I was more than happy to have him beat me when he came back. But that world title match holds a special place in my heart.
Johnathon: Okay, The next question comes from Michelle in Nevada and it says, " Biggest regret in wrestling?"
Jason: ..... I don't have a lot of regrets, I need to think for a second.... I would say letting The Flock die. For those who don't know, The Flock was the first stable I was a part of. Back in BPZ 2018 The Flock is how I became a household name. We were insanely over. Necce, Marker and Buddy were the absolute best. I loved working with them, the show we had was a lot of fun. But sadly December of that year I fell off the wagon, I got involved with drugs and alcohol and it really affected my career. I said and did things that killed the group when we were at our peak, and I blame myself. I was not in a good place mentally and I lashed out and it caused me to be exiled from BPZ for a couple years.
Johnathon: And this will be our last question. It comes from Kevin in New York and all it says is, " dream opponents?"
Jason: Ah man, this is really hard. Lots of talented people in the business right now. I guess everyone in the World Series of Wrestling I have not fought yet would be my number one response. I would enjoy feuding with everyone there so guys, if you have a free date, hit me up and let's plan something.
Johnathon: Alright, so let's talk about something that I know means a lot to you. You broke in with SCU in Las Vegas, that's where you started to get eyes on you. That federation has sadly closed its doors but a night that your name always comes up in when discussing that federation is the night you were fired and blacklisted. To my knowledge, you have never spoken about it so I was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about it.
Jason ( breathes out a long sigh) Fuck man. So this was when I had the strap and I was facing Gunner Flynn and Victoria Sabin in the main event and I was supposed to go over. But two hours before the show Victoria got a phone call from her mom and she got the news her dad had passed away. Her dad trained the three of us so we were all devastated. So I decide to call the guys you had the book at the time. It was Yankee, Jasper and Kevin. And I told them I would be dropping the belt to Brooklyn. And originally they weren't budging, they wanted me to hold the strap going into Clash of the Yards, that mega crossover we had been building to with UWF. So I called my-now ex wife, who was the head producer on the show.
Johnathon: Cindy?
Jason: No, that was after.
Johnathon: Rebecca?
Jason: No, that was the Hollywood marriage that we had only to sell the idea of the perfect power couple.
Johnathon: Kelly?
Jason: No, it was Ashlynn. Anyway, I called her up and told her the situation so she comes to the office. And she was the head producer so she had the power to basically mother fuck these guys. She convinced Yankee and Jasper but Kevin was steadfast in Brooklyn would not win the match and if I would be dropping the strap, it would be to Gunner. Kevin was... well he's the reason SCU went under obviously due to his stupid ass booking. He had a certain image of what a world champion should be. And the only reason I was ever champion is because Brian had the book before.
Anyway, me and Kevin really started arguing and a lot of horrible things were said. Kevin was screaming too, he was red-faced that I dared disagree with him. Because that's how Kevin is. It's either you agree with him or you can go to Hell. Yankee and Jasper basically told me to run the match because Kevin got to the point you couldn't talk to him. That's actually what led to me and Ashlynn getting divorced So I went out, we had the match, Brooklyn covered me for the 1,2,3 and we get to the back where I was given my pink slip. I wasn't even allowed to shower. Security was there waiting to escort me out, I had to go to this rundown truck stop to shower, still wearing my gear. That actually led to me and Ashlynn getting divorced.
Johnathon: Really?!
Jason: Yeah. So, it's no secret the only reason I got to the top of SCU was backstage politics. I was early in my career, I wasn't making a lot of good choices, I had left my pregnant girlfriend when she needed me. And the only reason Ashlynn and I ever became close is because of our arrangement. I would do some stuff for her and she would ensure that I become the face of SCU then we would both bounce once a bigger company showed interest. The sex and everything like that was just a bonus thing. I never loved her, I know she never loved me. We cheated on each other often. We had just gotten married because, why not really. This was before I became a Pagan and started taking accountability in my life.
Johnathon: Okay and for our last topic. Tell me about the Tampa Incident.
Jason: Gods damn it man!
Johnathon: Hey, none of you have told the wrestling world about it, it's time you told us what happened. Many wrestling shows have guessed at what happened, but I want to hear from you what actually happened.
Jason: ........ Fine! So we were in Tampa, this is back in 2018 so I was still in BPZ. And I was at this bar with the usual crew. Jeremiah was there, Slim was there, Necce was there, Bailey had already gone back to the hotel, and the trainees were all there. So me, Marker, Buddy, Julius and Gunner. Bart and Echo were also there and I think that's all of them. Oh and Vala was there.
Johnathon: Your wife Vala?
Jason: Yeah. this was shortly before she became pregnant with our second child. She's actually the reason I became a Pagan by the way. Anyway so we're all drinking and Necce decides to go to the zoo. And the rest of us all go with. It's fucking midnight. The zoo ain't open. But Necce didn't care, he just decided to break in. So we all break in to the zoo and of course the cops were alerted but we didn't know so we decide to try and break into one of the exhibits because Vala was under the assumption one of the tigers had given birth and she wanted the baby.
Johnathon: Did you guess manage to break into the exhibit?
Jason: No not really. We were all drunk so no serious attempts were made. I ended up having to pick Vala up and carry her away. But it wasn't long before the cops found us so we all scattered. I think Bart was the only one who got arrested then. The rest of us escaped and that's when we decided to steal the cop cars. There were two of them. Julius, Slim, Jeremiah, Echo, and Buddy took one and Marker, Gunner, Necce, me and Vala took the other and we decide to drive them up to this strip club.
Johnathon: Oh no, I don't like where this is going.
Jason: It gets worse. So we pull up to the strip club and we invade like the stripper area, we scare the poor girls away and we all started to strip and give the staff lap dances. Well we tried to anyway. That got the cops called on us so we booked it, we left our clothes behind so we're all butt-ass naked and drunk. We then broke into a Wendy's and tried making our own food but that didn't work. By then the cops had found us so we booked it. Slim, Echo, Gunner and Marker got caught but the rest of us managed to stumble away. So now it's me, Necce, Julius, Vala and Buddy who haven't gotten arrested yet. We ended up breaking into this catholic church where we got into the wine they use for communion so now we are just blackout drunk. And that's when the cops found the rest of us and arrested us. They caught Vala and me getting it on too. That's actually how Jack, our second child was conceived.
Johnathon:... wow. I dunno what to say other than, that's all the time we have. Thank you for appearing on the show.
Jason ( shakes his hand): Thank you for having me. This was a pleasure.
Johnathon Seymour Buns: Hello everyone and welcome to this installment of Behind the curtain! The show that allows you to view your favorite wrestlers without the character! And joining me today is Jason Ryan. For those of you who don't know, Jason has been wrestling for about eight years now, he has been in many federations and has managed to make quite the name for himself. But I'll leave it to the man himself to properly introduce himself!
Jason: Hey everyone. I'm Jason Ryan... Enough said.
Johnathon: Well, let's get right to it, Jason I know you are a busy an and I would like to thank you for agreeing to appear on the show.
Jason: Admittedly I haven't been as busy as I usually am, I am getting back into acting again so I am really focused on that, and most of the federations I wrestle for are on hiatus so I can somewhat kick back and relax.
Johnathon: Well I don't want to waste your time so let's get started with What A Dick.
Jason ( Laughing): I love this game!
( Johnathon reached beside his chair and pulls out a bag with an image of a large, glorious, amazing, god-tier-looking penis on the front.)
Jonathon: Okay so I am going to go through some names, and if they're cool we'll leave them out. And if they're a dick, they go in the bag. For starters, Marker.
Jason: Cool mother fucker. My first ever tag partner, I love that man. Sadly he is out of the business now but I loved teaming with him, and I credit him for helping me a lot when I was first getting started.
Johnathon: Okay. Buddy Ace.
Jason: Nah he's cool. One of my favorite rivalries. I will say I do wish he would get back in the game, he is one of my all-time favorite opponents of mine. That Hell in a Cell match at BPZ King of the Ring remains in my top ten matches I've had. Myself and Buddy Ace had a lot of fun in the ring and outside the ring.
Johnathon: And he was there for the Tampa Incident.
Jason (groans): Oh gods! I wish I could forget.
Johnathon: ( laughing): I am gonna have to ask you about that at the end of the show, you know that right?
Jason: Ah damn it.
Johnathon: Julius.
Jason: My brother. Love that guy to pieces.
Johnathon: Echo Wilson
Jason: My favorite rival, my feud with him in 2018 put me on the map. He and I were the only ones to main event a BPZ show for a midcard title. Our Circus Deathmatch at BPZ Halloween Havoc in 2018 is still my favorite match. Me and Echo never had a bad moment together.
Johnathon: Ross.
Jason: Dick.
Johnathon ( puts the name in the bag): Would you care to elaborate?
Jason: I... I don't want to be seen as starting shit but he is someone who was just hard to get along with back then. Now I'm sure he has changed since then, this was back in 2018 but back then he was really hard to get along with. You never knew what mood he was in. Sometimes he was amazing, other times he would go out of his way to give someone shit. He wasn't all bad but he was a dick for the most part.
Johnathon: Gill
Jason: Smug prick. Put him in the bag.
( Johnathon grabs another name as Jason takes a sip of water)
Johnathon: Brendan Hendrix.
Jason: Fucking love him. When we first started working together, it was his idea to use his heart issues in our feud. And I always admired him for being willing to do all that shit. I do wish his heart issues weren't so prevalent because they do sadly hinder what he can do in the ring. But we had a fantastic feud with great matches. I love the guy, his mom is an absolute sweetheart and his dad is one of the coolest fuckers in the world. I don't have a bad thing to say about him.
Johnathon: Jeremiah Flynn.
( Jason briefly bows his head in respect before looking up) Jeremiah had always been cool to me then we started working in 2019 and I saw what a great fucker he was. Jeremiah really helped me get back to where I used to be in BPZ and I will always be grateful for that. Sadly he is no longer with us and I miss him very much.
Johnathon: Speaking of the Flynns, his brother, Gunner Flynn.
( Jason laughs and takes the piece of paper with the name.) I want to make it clear that me putting him in the back is just me playing HaHa. I have nothing but love for Gunner, one of my best friends in the business. But he'd put me in the bag if he had the chance so I'll put him in the bag.
Johnathon: Damon Warrens.
Jason: Love him. He is the reason I became APW champion. I hold our feud in the same regard as my feud with Echo and with the one I have with Buster Gloves. There is something we have every time we lock up. I loved working with him and I wish he would come back.
Johnathon: Amber Payne.
Jason: She's one of my favorites. I remember when we started working with each other, I think it was after our first match, we were in catering together just discussing things and I was like " you're gonna be the top babyface around here in a couple years." I would call myself a fan of hers. I mean, I am a fan of everyone in Level Up. I don't say this lightly but the talent of Level UP reminds me of BPZ 2018, which is why I am having so much fun there. Amber Payne has all the tools in my opinion and she's done to try anything if you work with her. I could go one but I'll leave it there.
Johnathon: And lastly, Buster Gloves.
Jason: My feud with him, I'd consider to be part of the Trinity of my best feuds along with Echo and Damon. Buster is so much fun to work with and the funny thing is my feud with him wasn't supposed to happen. Brendan had to pull out of our match at Doom due to his heart which is why I was off that card and management come up to me and tell me I would be working with Buster next week and I was told that this was more or less a test to see how I would fit in. So Buster and I really put our heads together to not only deliver a great match but a great story which we did. And when we got backstage we actually got a standing ovation because we beat the hell out of each other and the crowd for that one was hot. And ever since then, anytime we get in the ring, it's fantastic. I could never put him in the bag. He could have just done a by the numbers match since I was still brand new in Level Up but he wanted to see what I could do and was willing to make me look good. Anytime the person I am working with is willing to put the story before themselves, they earn my respect.
Johnathon: Okay. Now for the next part of the show, we asked fans to send us questions for you so we'll look at those now. This one comes from Vincent in North Carolina and it says, " Jason, if you could go back and compete in any three matches all over again, which would they be and why?"
Jason ( sighs and takes a drink of water) Man. Lots of great choices. I have been fortunate to get in the ring with so many talented people. I'll say the match with myself and Echo for the BPZ Premium championship at Haloween Havoc in 2018. That Circus Deathmatch we had is my all-time favorite match of mine, I still go back and watch it. I would love to fight him again.
My second match would have to be myself and Sarah vs Amber and Buster when we had that parking lot brawl. Because that was a fucking loony tone! Fun fact, we had to quit rehearsal for that match twice because I couldn't stop laughing. All four of us went balls to the wall in that, obviously it wasn't supposed to be serious and when Sarah tried to run them over on that motorcycle I buckled. And we had to cut a lot of things out. A lot of people didn't like that match o the internet, I got a lot of shit from fans on the internet but I personally love matches like that. Matches that are hardcore and brutal but you can't help but laugh watching it. It's a action movie and who doesn't love action movies?
And my third match..... Me and Damon Warrens for the APW World Title. I wasn't supposed to be there but Damon needed tie off and he and I had a great level of respect for each other so when it came time for him to drop the belt, he insisted I be the one to beat him. And he was the face of APW, he was the top guy. And to have someone like that go to bat for me meant a lot to me and I was more than happy to have him beat me when he came back. But that world title match holds a special place in my heart.
Johnathon: Okay, The next question comes from Michelle in Nevada and it says, " Biggest regret in wrestling?"
Jason: ..... I don't have a lot of regrets, I need to think for a second.... I would say letting The Flock die. For those who don't know, The Flock was the first stable I was a part of. Back in BPZ 2018 The Flock is how I became a household name. We were insanely over. Necce, Marker and Buddy were the absolute best. I loved working with them, the show we had was a lot of fun. But sadly December of that year I fell off the wagon, I got involved with drugs and alcohol and it really affected my career. I said and did things that killed the group when we were at our peak, and I blame myself. I was not in a good place mentally and I lashed out and it caused me to be exiled from BPZ for a couple years.
Johnathon: And this will be our last question. It comes from Kevin in New York and all it says is, " dream opponents?"
Jason: Ah man, this is really hard. Lots of talented people in the business right now. I guess everyone in the World Series of Wrestling I have not fought yet would be my number one response. I would enjoy feuding with everyone there so guys, if you have a free date, hit me up and let's plan something.
Johnathon: Alright, so let's talk about something that I know means a lot to you. You broke in with SCU in Las Vegas, that's where you started to get eyes on you. That federation has sadly closed its doors but a night that your name always comes up in when discussing that federation is the night you were fired and blacklisted. To my knowledge, you have never spoken about it so I was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about it.
Jason ( breathes out a long sigh) Fuck man. So this was when I had the strap and I was facing Gunner Flynn and Victoria Sabin in the main event and I was supposed to go over. But two hours before the show Victoria got a phone call from her mom and she got the news her dad had passed away. Her dad trained the three of us so we were all devastated. So I decide to call the guys you had the book at the time. It was Yankee, Jasper and Kevin. And I told them I would be dropping the belt to Brooklyn. And originally they weren't budging, they wanted me to hold the strap going into Clash of the Yards, that mega crossover we had been building to with UWF. So I called my-now ex wife, who was the head producer on the show.
Johnathon: Cindy?
Jason: No, that was after.
Johnathon: Rebecca?
Jason: No, that was the Hollywood marriage that we had only to sell the idea of the perfect power couple.
Johnathon: Kelly?
Jason: No, it was Ashlynn. Anyway, I called her up and told her the situation so she comes to the office. And she was the head producer so she had the power to basically mother fuck these guys. She convinced Yankee and Jasper but Kevin was steadfast in Brooklyn would not win the match and if I would be dropping the strap, it would be to Gunner. Kevin was... well he's the reason SCU went under obviously due to his stupid ass booking. He had a certain image of what a world champion should be. And the only reason I was ever champion is because Brian had the book before.
Anyway, me and Kevin really started arguing and a lot of horrible things were said. Kevin was screaming too, he was red-faced that I dared disagree with him. Because that's how Kevin is. It's either you agree with him or you can go to Hell. Yankee and Jasper basically told me to run the match because Kevin got to the point you couldn't talk to him. That's actually what led to me and Ashlynn getting divorced So I went out, we had the match, Brooklyn covered me for the 1,2,3 and we get to the back where I was given my pink slip. I wasn't even allowed to shower. Security was there waiting to escort me out, I had to go to this rundown truck stop to shower, still wearing my gear. That actually led to me and Ashlynn getting divorced.
Johnathon: Really?!
Jason: Yeah. So, it's no secret the only reason I got to the top of SCU was backstage politics. I was early in my career, I wasn't making a lot of good choices, I had left my pregnant girlfriend when she needed me. And the only reason Ashlynn and I ever became close is because of our arrangement. I would do some stuff for her and she would ensure that I become the face of SCU then we would both bounce once a bigger company showed interest. The sex and everything like that was just a bonus thing. I never loved her, I know she never loved me. We cheated on each other often. We had just gotten married because, why not really. This was before I became a Pagan and started taking accountability in my life.
Johnathon: Okay and for our last topic. Tell me about the Tampa Incident.
Jason: Gods damn it man!
Johnathon: Hey, none of you have told the wrestling world about it, it's time you told us what happened. Many wrestling shows have guessed at what happened, but I want to hear from you what actually happened.
Jason: ........ Fine! So we were in Tampa, this is back in 2018 so I was still in BPZ. And I was at this bar with the usual crew. Jeremiah was there, Slim was there, Necce was there, Bailey had already gone back to the hotel, and the trainees were all there. So me, Marker, Buddy, Julius and Gunner. Bart and Echo were also there and I think that's all of them. Oh and Vala was there.
Johnathon: Your wife Vala?
Jason: Yeah. this was shortly before she became pregnant with our second child. She's actually the reason I became a Pagan by the way. Anyway so we're all drinking and Necce decides to go to the zoo. And the rest of us all go with. It's fucking midnight. The zoo ain't open. But Necce didn't care, he just decided to break in. So we all break in to the zoo and of course the cops were alerted but we didn't know so we decide to try and break into one of the exhibits because Vala was under the assumption one of the tigers had given birth and she wanted the baby.
Johnathon: Did you guess manage to break into the exhibit?
Jason: No not really. We were all drunk so no serious attempts were made. I ended up having to pick Vala up and carry her away. But it wasn't long before the cops found us so we all scattered. I think Bart was the only one who got arrested then. The rest of us escaped and that's when we decided to steal the cop cars. There were two of them. Julius, Slim, Jeremiah, Echo, and Buddy took one and Marker, Gunner, Necce, me and Vala took the other and we decide to drive them up to this strip club.
Johnathon: Oh no, I don't like where this is going.
Jason: It gets worse. So we pull up to the strip club and we invade like the stripper area, we scare the poor girls away and we all started to strip and give the staff lap dances. Well we tried to anyway. That got the cops called on us so we booked it, we left our clothes behind so we're all butt-ass naked and drunk. We then broke into a Wendy's and tried making our own food but that didn't work. By then the cops had found us so we booked it. Slim, Echo, Gunner and Marker got caught but the rest of us managed to stumble away. So now it's me, Necce, Julius, Vala and Buddy who haven't gotten arrested yet. We ended up breaking into this catholic church where we got into the wine they use for communion so now we are just blackout drunk. And that's when the cops found the rest of us and arrested us. They caught Vala and me getting it on too. That's actually how Jack, our second child was conceived.
Johnathon:... wow. I dunno what to say other than, that's all the time we have. Thank you for appearing on the show.
Jason ( shakes his hand): Thank you for having me. This was a pleasure.