Splat Network All-access: Big Ticket Entertainment (2000)
Nov 4, 2022 22:20:02 GMT -5
"Ginger Ninja" Molly Hatchet, VooDoo, and 1 more like this
Post by Harvey Marx on Nov 4, 2022 22:20:02 GMT -5
Big Ticket Studios
Chicago
October 29th 2022
McCormick: We're here for a story. Try to think of the cameras as…
Leo: This is a TV studio, Mr. McCormick. None of my people need the speech. We give it to every audience.
McCormick: Right. So the principals are yourself, Mr Marx, Mr. Bellwood, and Mr…?
Leo: Boris.
McCormick: Just Boris?
Leo: Yes, just Boris. He’s not to be disturbed while recording.
McCormick: Are there any concerns?
Leo: None. This isn't a Big Ticket Entertainment production, it's your show.
McCormick: I almost believe you. Your reputation doesn’t do you justice, Miss Albright. Where is the company’s owner, Mr. Osbourne?
Leo: I have full authority on this project.
* Leonora has held full authority over her ex husband for years. He's loved every minute of it.*
*Cut to a full color camera approaching Marx from behind. He is walking back and forth while three nervous male models stand in a row, each with one hand resting on a metal briefcase with a number embossed on it.*
Marx: My crew is hard at work and the set of my new game show The Southpaw's Suitcase is coming together all around us. I need case models. Why would you answer the bell?
Impress me, number eleven.
Eleven: You’re popular with the 18-24 male demo. There’s a high probability you can help my career
Marx: That’s a smart answer from a man with a math degree. Work on the smile!
Same question to you, number 7…
Seven: I want to see you beat somebody's ass! I love you, bruh! And I want to be like a celebrity or something.
Marx: This is not a contestant audition for Sucker Punch Live. You literally gave me a portfolio of bathroom selfies.. I need more model, less moron. What about you, number three?
Three: I need the work. I’m here because…
Marx realizes he is only holding 2 resumes.
Marx: Because you are the winner of my broadcast arts scholarship?! Good to see you again!.
The Situation is simple. There's one men's spot left. Would you fight for it?
The BTE team has battled and survived for years to get here. I can’t expect less from you.
I'm looking for a man who could be holding the Southpaw's suitcase on any given night. You'll be on that stage with people like Tony Savage, with Lissie Hope and her four world titles.
Harvey gestures to the empty ring behind him.
This is not a metaphor gentlemen. Today's opportunity is through the ropes.
The three jog ahead of Harvey and climb awkwardly through the ropes. Harvey strides calmly onto a blue X on the floor in front of him and starts taking off his wrist watch.
Seven: You want us to fight each other right here?
Marx: Of course not! You are all on the same side.
Harvey moves to a second blue X on the ring steps and tosses his suit jacket to a Stage Hand.
Eleven: Against who?
*Marx moves on to a red X in the center of the ring and waits for the spotlight.*
Marx: Me!
*Eleven is already heading for the exit and Mr. Seven’s eyes narrow.
Harvey turns to the lead Splat camerawoman*
Marx: Okay Diane, did that give you what you…
*Seven screams and charges forward before Marx can finish. The big man turns to him in the same instant, crouching under a wild Haymaker and slamming a right hand into the ribs it exposed. Number 7 doubles over and a big left finds his jaw. He's driven face first onto the X in the center of the ring.*
Number three has been standing still. Marx shakes his hand.
Marx: I've been looking for brains balls and a body. Two out of three won't cut on my show.
Three: You're not going to hit me?
Marx: I wasn't even planning on hitting that idiot!
Three: Feel good?
Hell yeah. Since you're the only one still here I don't think we can tell the story we were planning. So we tell a better one! Come back here tomorrow for our staff meeting.
Seattle
Black Pyramid Universe
14 years ago
Harvey Marx suit is ruined. At least the blood isn't his. The sight in the cracked bathroom mirror is almost as depressing as this dark, tiny apartment. This place would look like a hobbit hole even if it's tenant wasn't so huge. Whatever passes for water in this city issues from a noisy half clogged faucet as Marx tries to clean away the familiar stink of a dockside fight club. He wonders if this night could get any worse.
*CLICK*
Turn around slowly, hands where I can see them.
*Harvey turns to find a woman in uniform holding a gun in his face.*
Marx: You're in my apartment illegally officer…?
Charlottle: Lieutenant Bellwood. And you and your boys were on the docks Illegally tonight.
Marx: My boss owns them. It was just a little business.
Lt. Bellwood: Beating the hell out of a pizza chef with 2 kids is business?
Marx: Spicier meatball than most of my opponents these days…
Charlotte: I'm not here about that. I'm here about the eight year old boy who saw it happen. Stay away from my brother.
Marx: He doesn't seem to want to stay away from me. He just started showing up at my fights last year.
*Charlotte has no idea what Frank sees in Harvey. She only knows he sees many things others can't. Even at that age, Frank didn't let others choose the company he kept.*
Marx: Look, I care about him. Oz threatened the kid if I didn't retire, so I did.
Charlotte: You expect OSBORNE to honor a deal? You didn't retire early. Sounds like you stopped taking blows to the head right on time. It's not enough. Rumor has it he's vulnerable, making weird decisions. Why’s a shipping and casino mogul be thinking about building a TV studio? If he's losing it, you can help us take him down.
*Harvey smiles*
Marx: Not that simple. There's someone new in his circle.
Charlotte: We heard that too. Sounded like bullshit. A woman, much younger, blind or something.
Marx: Not blind. She's in a wheelchair.
Charlotte: Good for her not letting that stop her.
Marx: Don't be cute. I'm not so sure a bullet could stop this bitch.
Charlotte: Where did she come from? It almost sounds like you admire her.
Marx: I'm a fan of anyone trying to screw him over. He hired her to deal blackjack. She'll have her hands on More Than Cards before long. Hell of a player.
Charlotte: This isn't a game.
Marx: That's exactly what it is.
Charlotte: Then stop playing by someone else's rules before you get yourself killed and drag Frank down with you. Goodnight.
*Charlotte was right about one thing. Hanging up the gloves won't be enough to save the kid. When she's gone he makes a phone call*
Hey, Oz…you still need a game show host? The Big Ticket is your man!
Present day
844 p.m.
The dim apartment fades, replaced by bolts fabric on ornate wooden racks as McCormick's voice pulls Harvey back to the present.
McCormick: You spaced out there. We’ll edit that out. It's fair to say you taught Mr. Bellwood everything he knows?
Marx: No. I taught him everything I know about making a suit. He's made it a business and an art form on his own.
Frank smiles, making a show of measuring Harvey for the cameras. Frank has refused to reveal Harvey's wardrobe for the next World Series appearance and is meeting the Splat Network producer halfway.
Marx: Hear anything from Barnum after the promo?
Frank: Souls choose to talk to me, I don't choose them. That thing inside John cable is a lot closer to this world than Barnum. One of the Rippers victims finally crossed over that night too.
That was a nice cover at the audition today, Mr Marx. You don't have any broadcast arts scholarship.
Marx: And that kid's obviously never been on television before. What do you know?
Frank: I met him yesterday at a coffee shop. Name’s Hector. He said he got fired. He’s a good person, he just lost his way.
Marx: Why help him?
Frank: He reminds me of someone…
Marx: What?
*Frank smiles and goes back to work*
October 30th
*A large room with a conference table in the center. Miss Albright, Frank, Marx, and Hector are seated while the BTE camera crew is standing around the edge of the shot.
Leo: All right people. You've all seen the tape and we've got the data. Now for the five audience breakdown of the Velvet Rabbit Show
Marx: I'll start with the two that will be most important for Hector here.
The live audience.
We don't need research on this one kid. The Big Ticket went into a room full of boozed up people surrounded by strippers and gave away a bunch of money. Pretty easy to see we did our job. You'll be able to feel the audience in the studio too. Learn what they want and become the one who's got it.
The second audience are the viewers. They're tougher to impress and the least predictable.
Highlights?
Leo: my sex toy spot is our most liked, highest trending social media post all year.
Marx: Twitter is horny? Who knew. Negatives?
Frank: Street team says people wanted you to go at Barnum harder.
Marx laughs
Marx: I'm the biggest man in this competition. I don't need to embarrass myself cutting a prison yard promo on a Carnival barker not even half my size.
Now on to our third audience: the media. Published opinion and public opinion aren't the same thing, but there are some journalists out there who hit even harder than I do.
*Hector's mind flashes back to number seven out cold on the canvas. He winces.*
Hector: you mean like Denzel Porter?
Yes, we'll get to him in a minute. What do we have?
Frank: turnbuckle magazine says “ Marx is a fat joke, and NOT the kick ass Allen Cheney kind”
The daily jobber lists 19 people who deserved a golden Ticket over us.
Leo: I want VIP tickets to all remaining World Series events sent to everyone on that list.
Marx: Good counterpunch. I'll see if Kayfabe Airlines would take care of their travel and lodging. And that's a fourth audience kid, sponsors and partners. Are we in good standing and paying our bills?
Leo: I'm doing my best to keep TIA happy about sharing promotional duty. Some rich guy in Canada actually hired Gimmicki’s to build him a bank after your promo at the Rabbit.
Frank: I’ll frame the jacket the big ticket wore and send it to Candice wolf page.
Leo: Business is great. But we could be doing better in the competition. We're ranked 28th.
Marx: We’re on the ropes alright, but we’re in. We’re at the center of the combat sports world That’s what we expected and that’s what matters. I’ve been on television a long time. I won’t get anywhere playing by someone else’s rules, even judges.
Hector: Should you be saying that in front of them?
*Hector has discovered our sixth and most important audience. The spat network crew.*
Absolutely! Mr. McCormick and his people were promised all-access. They’re here to help us show the judges what we’re about!
Hector: Is that why you’ve made all the boxing references and hit that guy yesterday?
Marx: Yes on the boxing script. I hit that guy because he attacked me. *Marx grins* Though it looked great on the overhead cam!
October 31st
McCormick: One more question, Mr. Marx. What do you have to say to your critics who claim this is all a publicity stunt?
*Harvey smiles into the camera and then strikes a thoughtful pose. He is wearing a kool-aid man costume*
Marx: I'd like to ask them if it is working!
Chicago
October 29th 2022
McCormick: We're here for a story. Try to think of the cameras as…
Leo: This is a TV studio, Mr. McCormick. None of my people need the speech. We give it to every audience.
McCormick: Right. So the principals are yourself, Mr Marx, Mr. Bellwood, and Mr…?
Leo: Boris.
McCormick: Just Boris?
Leo: Yes, just Boris. He’s not to be disturbed while recording.
McCormick: Are there any concerns?
Leo: None. This isn't a Big Ticket Entertainment production, it's your show.
McCormick: I almost believe you. Your reputation doesn’t do you justice, Miss Albright. Where is the company’s owner, Mr. Osbourne?
Leo: I have full authority on this project.
* Leonora has held full authority over her ex husband for years. He's loved every minute of it.*
*Cut to a full color camera approaching Marx from behind. He is walking back and forth while three nervous male models stand in a row, each with one hand resting on a metal briefcase with a number embossed on it.*
Marx: My crew is hard at work and the set of my new game show The Southpaw's Suitcase is coming together all around us. I need case models. Why would you answer the bell?
Impress me, number eleven.
Eleven: You’re popular with the 18-24 male demo. There’s a high probability you can help my career
Marx: That’s a smart answer from a man with a math degree. Work on the smile!
Same question to you, number 7…
Seven: I want to see you beat somebody's ass! I love you, bruh! And I want to be like a celebrity or something.
Marx: This is not a contestant audition for Sucker Punch Live. You literally gave me a portfolio of bathroom selfies.. I need more model, less moron. What about you, number three?
Three: I need the work. I’m here because…
Marx realizes he is only holding 2 resumes.
Marx: Because you are the winner of my broadcast arts scholarship?! Good to see you again!.
The Situation is simple. There's one men's spot left. Would you fight for it?
The BTE team has battled and survived for years to get here. I can’t expect less from you.
I'm looking for a man who could be holding the Southpaw's suitcase on any given night. You'll be on that stage with people like Tony Savage, with Lissie Hope and her four world titles.
Harvey gestures to the empty ring behind him.
This is not a metaphor gentlemen. Today's opportunity is through the ropes.
The three jog ahead of Harvey and climb awkwardly through the ropes. Harvey strides calmly onto a blue X on the floor in front of him and starts taking off his wrist watch.
Seven: You want us to fight each other right here?
Marx: Of course not! You are all on the same side.
Harvey moves to a second blue X on the ring steps and tosses his suit jacket to a Stage Hand.
Eleven: Against who?
*Marx moves on to a red X in the center of the ring and waits for the spotlight.*
Marx: Me!
*Eleven is already heading for the exit and Mr. Seven’s eyes narrow.
Harvey turns to the lead Splat camerawoman*
Marx: Okay Diane, did that give you what you…
*Seven screams and charges forward before Marx can finish. The big man turns to him in the same instant, crouching under a wild Haymaker and slamming a right hand into the ribs it exposed. Number 7 doubles over and a big left finds his jaw. He's driven face first onto the X in the center of the ring.*
Number three has been standing still. Marx shakes his hand.
Marx: I've been looking for brains balls and a body. Two out of three won't cut on my show.
Three: You're not going to hit me?
Marx: I wasn't even planning on hitting that idiot!
Three: Feel good?
Hell yeah. Since you're the only one still here I don't think we can tell the story we were planning. So we tell a better one! Come back here tomorrow for our staff meeting.
Seattle
Black Pyramid Universe
14 years ago
Harvey Marx suit is ruined. At least the blood isn't his. The sight in the cracked bathroom mirror is almost as depressing as this dark, tiny apartment. This place would look like a hobbit hole even if it's tenant wasn't so huge. Whatever passes for water in this city issues from a noisy half clogged faucet as Marx tries to clean away the familiar stink of a dockside fight club. He wonders if this night could get any worse.
*CLICK*
Turn around slowly, hands where I can see them.
*Harvey turns to find a woman in uniform holding a gun in his face.*
Marx: You're in my apartment illegally officer…?
Charlottle: Lieutenant Bellwood. And you and your boys were on the docks Illegally tonight.
Marx: My boss owns them. It was just a little business.
Lt. Bellwood: Beating the hell out of a pizza chef with 2 kids is business?
Marx: Spicier meatball than most of my opponents these days…
Charlotte: I'm not here about that. I'm here about the eight year old boy who saw it happen. Stay away from my brother.
Marx: He doesn't seem to want to stay away from me. He just started showing up at my fights last year.
*Charlotte has no idea what Frank sees in Harvey. She only knows he sees many things others can't. Even at that age, Frank didn't let others choose the company he kept.*
Marx: Look, I care about him. Oz threatened the kid if I didn't retire, so I did.
Charlotte: You expect OSBORNE to honor a deal? You didn't retire early. Sounds like you stopped taking blows to the head right on time. It's not enough. Rumor has it he's vulnerable, making weird decisions. Why’s a shipping and casino mogul be thinking about building a TV studio? If he's losing it, you can help us take him down.
*Harvey smiles*
Marx: Not that simple. There's someone new in his circle.
Charlotte: We heard that too. Sounded like bullshit. A woman, much younger, blind or something.
Marx: Not blind. She's in a wheelchair.
Charlotte: Good for her not letting that stop her.
Marx: Don't be cute. I'm not so sure a bullet could stop this bitch.
Charlotte: Where did she come from? It almost sounds like you admire her.
Marx: I'm a fan of anyone trying to screw him over. He hired her to deal blackjack. She'll have her hands on More Than Cards before long. Hell of a player.
Charlotte: This isn't a game.
Marx: That's exactly what it is.
Charlotte: Then stop playing by someone else's rules before you get yourself killed and drag Frank down with you. Goodnight.
*Charlotte was right about one thing. Hanging up the gloves won't be enough to save the kid. When she's gone he makes a phone call*
Hey, Oz…you still need a game show host? The Big Ticket is your man!
Present day
844 p.m.
The dim apartment fades, replaced by bolts fabric on ornate wooden racks as McCormick's voice pulls Harvey back to the present.
McCormick: You spaced out there. We’ll edit that out. It's fair to say you taught Mr. Bellwood everything he knows?
Marx: No. I taught him everything I know about making a suit. He's made it a business and an art form on his own.
Frank smiles, making a show of measuring Harvey for the cameras. Frank has refused to reveal Harvey's wardrobe for the next World Series appearance and is meeting the Splat Network producer halfway.
Marx: Hear anything from Barnum after the promo?
Frank: Souls choose to talk to me, I don't choose them. That thing inside John cable is a lot closer to this world than Barnum. One of the Rippers victims finally crossed over that night too.
That was a nice cover at the audition today, Mr Marx. You don't have any broadcast arts scholarship.
Marx: And that kid's obviously never been on television before. What do you know?
Frank: I met him yesterday at a coffee shop. Name’s Hector. He said he got fired. He’s a good person, he just lost his way.
Marx: Why help him?
Frank: He reminds me of someone…
Marx: What?
*Frank smiles and goes back to work*
October 30th
*A large room with a conference table in the center. Miss Albright, Frank, Marx, and Hector are seated while the BTE camera crew is standing around the edge of the shot.
Leo: All right people. You've all seen the tape and we've got the data. Now for the five audience breakdown of the Velvet Rabbit Show
Marx: I'll start with the two that will be most important for Hector here.
The live audience.
We don't need research on this one kid. The Big Ticket went into a room full of boozed up people surrounded by strippers and gave away a bunch of money. Pretty easy to see we did our job. You'll be able to feel the audience in the studio too. Learn what they want and become the one who's got it.
The second audience are the viewers. They're tougher to impress and the least predictable.
Highlights?
Leo: my sex toy spot is our most liked, highest trending social media post all year.
Marx: Twitter is horny? Who knew. Negatives?
Frank: Street team says people wanted you to go at Barnum harder.
Marx laughs
Marx: I'm the biggest man in this competition. I don't need to embarrass myself cutting a prison yard promo on a Carnival barker not even half my size.
Now on to our third audience: the media. Published opinion and public opinion aren't the same thing, but there are some journalists out there who hit even harder than I do.
*Hector's mind flashes back to number seven out cold on the canvas. He winces.*
Hector: you mean like Denzel Porter?
Yes, we'll get to him in a minute. What do we have?
Frank: turnbuckle magazine says “ Marx is a fat joke, and NOT the kick ass Allen Cheney kind”
The daily jobber lists 19 people who deserved a golden Ticket over us.
Leo: I want VIP tickets to all remaining World Series events sent to everyone on that list.
Marx: Good counterpunch. I'll see if Kayfabe Airlines would take care of their travel and lodging. And that's a fourth audience kid, sponsors and partners. Are we in good standing and paying our bills?
Leo: I'm doing my best to keep TIA happy about sharing promotional duty. Some rich guy in Canada actually hired Gimmicki’s to build him a bank after your promo at the Rabbit.
Frank: I’ll frame the jacket the big ticket wore and send it to Candice wolf page.
Leo: Business is great. But we could be doing better in the competition. We're ranked 28th.
Marx: We’re on the ropes alright, but we’re in. We’re at the center of the combat sports world That’s what we expected and that’s what matters. I’ve been on television a long time. I won’t get anywhere playing by someone else’s rules, even judges.
Hector: Should you be saying that in front of them?
*Hector has discovered our sixth and most important audience. The spat network crew.*
Absolutely! Mr. McCormick and his people were promised all-access. They’re here to help us show the judges what we’re about!
Hector: Is that why you’ve made all the boxing references and hit that guy yesterday?
Marx: Yes on the boxing script. I hit that guy because he attacked me. *Marx grins* Though it looked great on the overhead cam!
October 31st
McCormick: One more question, Mr. Marx. What do you have to say to your critics who claim this is all a publicity stunt?
*Harvey smiles into the camera and then strikes a thoughtful pose. He is wearing a kool-aid man costume*
Marx: I'd like to ask them if it is working!