Post by Harvey Marx on Oct 25, 2022 12:14:50 GMT -5
This is Frank Bellwood for Big Ticket Entertainment. Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Velvet Rabbit Vegas! Get ready for the first live event of the World Series of wrestling presented by this is awesome promotions. Please welcome to the stage 400 lbs of pure television gold handling from some other Seattle Washington. He is the star of Sucker Punch Live… give it up for “The Big Ticket” Harvey Marx!
*A huge standing prize wheel with sparklers burning around the edges lights up in time with the stage lights and fog machines. Women wearing TIA Promotions t-shirts and very little else work the audience and the poles on both sides of the wheel. When the fall clears Harvey marks stands Center Stage. He's wearing a red crushed velvet suit with matching fedora. There is a silver and black coat of arms on the back of the jacket. Above the shield in classic gameshow lightbulb script reads “BTE/VRV” Below the shield “WSOW 2022”. The shield boasts an airbrush illustration of Azurine Vebbins straddling and spinning on a heavy bag with one boxing glove held in the air. Playfully leaning on a cane, Harvey Marx might remind us of Fred Astaire if Fred Astaire had been a shameless refrigerator salesman, and was also the size of a refrigerator.*
**
Hello Las Vegas! Before I get to the question put to me by our panel, I would like to thank this is awesome promotions for staging this competition and to thank Candice wolf page and the staff of the Velvet Rabbit for allowing tonight's event to be hosted and the only place glittery and wild enough to be worthy of it!
The judges tell me that I can say a little something to any person living or dead, real or fictional. Well tonight I have a message for a man whose enduring fiction may be even greater than his very profitable reality.
Tonight The Big Ticket has words for legendary showman and promoter Phineas Taylor Barnum.
It's almost a shame to have to trash you, PT. I've been brought in to fill the seats and get eyeballs on this event. My company and I are doing fine on our own through three events of this great, unprecedented, genre defining, in your face competition from some of the same Visionaries who brought you the Cannabis Cup on the Denzel Porter Invitational.
But imagine if I had you in my corner. It would be Barnum and the big ticket under the big top on every Marquis in the entertainment capital of the world. We put smiles on faces, names in the Press and my friends at Gimmicki's Construction would have to build a new bank for all the money we'd be swimming in.
But I have to put that dream aside. That's not the show these people paid to see. This is the world series of wrestling and these people want a dream match!
This is the point in the program when most of my fellow contestants would turn it up. They might tell you it's time to get serious. You all know the type. Play time's over, no more games and the like and threaten you for the next ten minutes.
Do you really think I would strut into a world famous strip club dressed like a pornographer's couch just to let a little chest thumping ruin the fun? NO WAY! That's right folks, this game show Goliath can do both!!
Huh, that's weird. I've got a wheel here and no one to spin it.
*Boris leaps onto a bar in the corner of the room and begins to play his saxophone interpretation of “ You Can Leave Your Hat On".*
Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome the lovely Miss Leonora!
Eight barely covered bucks are carrying Leonora on a palanquin. It is grandly placed onstage and she drives her wheelchair over to the wheel. There is an envelope on each space*
Give it a spin for our first question, Leo!
To the woman on the mechanical bull: What electric car pioneer is set to buy Twitter?
ELON MUSK!
That is correct! 200 dollars for our cowgirl.
The world has changed Barnum. Technology has shortened the distance between people AND our attention spans. Only one of us is big enough and loud enough to reach so many people through so much noise! Don't believe me? Look around you. It was nothing but desert hhere in your day. Now, this is the velvet rabbit. I’m talking laptops and lapdances! Tonight's program is called Strippers Sideshows and Social Media, and The Splat Network is streaming this Husky Heartbreaker to millions of devices in real time. People look at The Big Ticket and see the world's largest thirst trap. They would look at you like something in one of your museums, some oddly from a bygone era. You’re classic but the next big thing is standing right here and he's about to run you over. My reign as Televisions Sexiest Super heavyweight is proof you were right about a sucker being born every minute.
Your problem is that they all flock to Sucker Punch Live these days. I’ve got people lined up around the block willing to eat my fist for fifteen minutes of fame. Good luck getting your audience back from me.
Spin it again Leo!
* another spin and Harvey takes another card off the wheel.
This question to the gentleman in the second row with the Long Island Iced Tea.
What TV host and entrepreneur started her client at the top in Chicago in 1986?
OPRAH!
Yes! $200 and another round for that guy! Oprah Winfrey does Book clubs magazines TV shows and prizes for days. Now there's a woman who’s totally mastered branding and marketing. You knew about that too, PT. The circus you put your name on is still around and will probably keep rolling after I’m gone.
The Big Ticket is performer, pitchman, and party all in one. I've already had a turn as ring announcer for WGWF, and in between my own shows I'm selling everything from airline tickets to hotel rooms to beer to… one of these…
* Harvey points to Leonora. She pulls a luxury Velvet Rabbit vibrator out of a pouch on her arm rest and flashes a smile that would put Barker's Beauties to shame.*
Now, this is the World Series of Wrestling. My mouth wrote a lot of checks to get me here. It's cut week in the competition and now I have to sell myself to my peers.
And it would be very bad for my brand if I didn't kick your ass.
You see, I used to be a boxer, my critics and most of the other competitors think it's cute that I play one on TV.
They can't ask my contestants if I hit as hard as I say because most of those guys don't remember it after.
I've never had a wrestling match in my life. As a former boxer, I don't see what the big deal is. I don't have to bother with gloves, I only have to keep you down for 3 seconds, and I don't have to stop beating the crap out of you every 3 minutes? No problem.
The rules may be different but the show is always the same. You won't be much of an opponent but you'll make a hell of a commercial for the big ticket.
They're telling me to wrap it up folks. Not while I've still got money to give away!
Leo spin us out of here!
Last question to the doe doing… I don't know what to call that but that is one lucky pole!
In 2017, A movie musical about Mr Barnum grossed more than 430 million dollars worldwide. What is the title?
The greatest Showman!
Yes! She can answer a question upside down?! That’s some serious talent. What say you to $400 for the limber lady?
The title says it all. You started with museums and freak shows and made yourself immortal as the circus king.
You dressed it up a few different ways but what you gave so many people was hope and a chance to feel normal.
Game shows are about the thrill of a chance at a better life. And maybe it's watching one of my contestants get clobbered or laughing at some diva wrestler on my couch yelling and spilling secrets…
People watch my show to remember they’re doing just fine.
I owe you a lot, Barnum. The big ticket is just a modern-day ringmaster in a different kind of circus.
But I can't become the true #ShowGOAT living in your shadow.
When the ring lights go up… I'll put you on the canvas so you can spend some time in mine.
Tonight’s program produced and directed by Leonora Albright-Osborne.
Featuring wardrobe and voiceover by Frank Bellwood!
Saxman, do that thing I like! *Boris plays and The Big Ticket bows*
I’ve been Harvey Marx! Thankyou and goodnight!
*A huge standing prize wheel with sparklers burning around the edges lights up in time with the stage lights and fog machines. Women wearing TIA Promotions t-shirts and very little else work the audience and the poles on both sides of the wheel. When the fall clears Harvey marks stands Center Stage. He's wearing a red crushed velvet suit with matching fedora. There is a silver and black coat of arms on the back of the jacket. Above the shield in classic gameshow lightbulb script reads “BTE/VRV” Below the shield “WSOW 2022”. The shield boasts an airbrush illustration of Azurine Vebbins straddling and spinning on a heavy bag with one boxing glove held in the air. Playfully leaning on a cane, Harvey Marx might remind us of Fred Astaire if Fred Astaire had been a shameless refrigerator salesman, and was also the size of a refrigerator.*
**
Hello Las Vegas! Before I get to the question put to me by our panel, I would like to thank this is awesome promotions for staging this competition and to thank Candice wolf page and the staff of the Velvet Rabbit for allowing tonight's event to be hosted and the only place glittery and wild enough to be worthy of it!
The judges tell me that I can say a little something to any person living or dead, real or fictional. Well tonight I have a message for a man whose enduring fiction may be even greater than his very profitable reality.
Tonight The Big Ticket has words for legendary showman and promoter Phineas Taylor Barnum.
It's almost a shame to have to trash you, PT. I've been brought in to fill the seats and get eyeballs on this event. My company and I are doing fine on our own through three events of this great, unprecedented, genre defining, in your face competition from some of the same Visionaries who brought you the Cannabis Cup on the Denzel Porter Invitational.
But imagine if I had you in my corner. It would be Barnum and the big ticket under the big top on every Marquis in the entertainment capital of the world. We put smiles on faces, names in the Press and my friends at Gimmicki's Construction would have to build a new bank for all the money we'd be swimming in.
But I have to put that dream aside. That's not the show these people paid to see. This is the world series of wrestling and these people want a dream match!
This is the point in the program when most of my fellow contestants would turn it up. They might tell you it's time to get serious. You all know the type. Play time's over, no more games and the like and threaten you for the next ten minutes.
Do you really think I would strut into a world famous strip club dressed like a pornographer's couch just to let a little chest thumping ruin the fun? NO WAY! That's right folks, this game show Goliath can do both!!
Huh, that's weird. I've got a wheel here and no one to spin it.
*Boris leaps onto a bar in the corner of the room and begins to play his saxophone interpretation of “ You Can Leave Your Hat On".*
Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome the lovely Miss Leonora!
Eight barely covered bucks are carrying Leonora on a palanquin. It is grandly placed onstage and she drives her wheelchair over to the wheel. There is an envelope on each space*
Give it a spin for our first question, Leo!
To the woman on the mechanical bull: What electric car pioneer is set to buy Twitter?
ELON MUSK!
That is correct! 200 dollars for our cowgirl.
The world has changed Barnum. Technology has shortened the distance between people AND our attention spans. Only one of us is big enough and loud enough to reach so many people through so much noise! Don't believe me? Look around you. It was nothing but desert hhere in your day. Now, this is the velvet rabbit. I’m talking laptops and lapdances! Tonight's program is called Strippers Sideshows and Social Media, and The Splat Network is streaming this Husky Heartbreaker to millions of devices in real time. People look at The Big Ticket and see the world's largest thirst trap. They would look at you like something in one of your museums, some oddly from a bygone era. You’re classic but the next big thing is standing right here and he's about to run you over. My reign as Televisions Sexiest Super heavyweight is proof you were right about a sucker being born every minute.
Your problem is that they all flock to Sucker Punch Live these days. I’ve got people lined up around the block willing to eat my fist for fifteen minutes of fame. Good luck getting your audience back from me.
Spin it again Leo!
* another spin and Harvey takes another card off the wheel.
This question to the gentleman in the second row with the Long Island Iced Tea.
What TV host and entrepreneur started her client at the top in Chicago in 1986?
OPRAH!
Yes! $200 and another round for that guy! Oprah Winfrey does Book clubs magazines TV shows and prizes for days. Now there's a woman who’s totally mastered branding and marketing. You knew about that too, PT. The circus you put your name on is still around and will probably keep rolling after I’m gone.
The Big Ticket is performer, pitchman, and party all in one. I've already had a turn as ring announcer for WGWF, and in between my own shows I'm selling everything from airline tickets to hotel rooms to beer to… one of these…
* Harvey points to Leonora. She pulls a luxury Velvet Rabbit vibrator out of a pouch on her arm rest and flashes a smile that would put Barker's Beauties to shame.*
Now, this is the World Series of Wrestling. My mouth wrote a lot of checks to get me here. It's cut week in the competition and now I have to sell myself to my peers.
And it would be very bad for my brand if I didn't kick your ass.
You see, I used to be a boxer, my critics and most of the other competitors think it's cute that I play one on TV.
They can't ask my contestants if I hit as hard as I say because most of those guys don't remember it after.
I've never had a wrestling match in my life. As a former boxer, I don't see what the big deal is. I don't have to bother with gloves, I only have to keep you down for 3 seconds, and I don't have to stop beating the crap out of you every 3 minutes? No problem.
The rules may be different but the show is always the same. You won't be much of an opponent but you'll make a hell of a commercial for the big ticket.
They're telling me to wrap it up folks. Not while I've still got money to give away!
Leo spin us out of here!
Last question to the doe doing… I don't know what to call that but that is one lucky pole!
In 2017, A movie musical about Mr Barnum grossed more than 430 million dollars worldwide. What is the title?
The greatest Showman!
Yes! She can answer a question upside down?! That’s some serious talent. What say you to $400 for the limber lady?
The title says it all. You started with museums and freak shows and made yourself immortal as the circus king.
You dressed it up a few different ways but what you gave so many people was hope and a chance to feel normal.
Game shows are about the thrill of a chance at a better life. And maybe it's watching one of my contestants get clobbered or laughing at some diva wrestler on my couch yelling and spilling secrets…
People watch my show to remember they’re doing just fine.
I owe you a lot, Barnum. The big ticket is just a modern-day ringmaster in a different kind of circus.
But I can't become the true #ShowGOAT living in your shadow.
When the ring lights go up… I'll put you on the canvas so you can spend some time in mine.
Tonight’s program produced and directed by Leonora Albright-Osborne.
Featuring wardrobe and voiceover by Frank Bellwood!
Saxman, do that thing I like! *Boris plays and The Big Ticket bows*
I’ve been Harvey Marx! Thankyou and goodnight!