Post by paulmontuori on Oct 24, 2022 21:11:49 GMT -5
Finally the moment is upon us.
The biggest battle this business has ever seen.
Pre-sale records have been smashed in this highly anticipated matchup between two industry giants.
On one side, the Wrestling Gawd himself, your KING Paul Montuori!
Thank you, thank you.
And on the other side..
The most despicable creature to ever step between the ropes.
Hailing from one of the toughest blocks in this beautiful country of ours.
That Baby Monster fuck himself Elmo..
Hold for boos..
Yeah, that Elmo.h
The one with the red fur and those googly eyes.
Those fucking eyes.
Shifty, conniving, scheming eyes..
I’m probably right in thinking everyone’s confused right about now.
Elmo? Why Elmo? He’s so cute and cuddly.
That’s exactly what they want you to think! That Elmo is this cute and cuddly guy. This relatable guy. This everyday, red blooded American. He’s even billed as being American.
Now I know this great country of ours is one big melting pot..
But when was the last fucking time you saw someone that looked like that creepy fuck?!
Honestly..
Ginger to the fire bush power.
Now I’m not judging the fuck based solely on his looks. That would be juvenile of me. And I’m far above that. I’m so mature beyond my years.
Hey you, stop laughing..
It goes beyond his creepy red fur that covers him head to toe..
See, what people don’t know is Elmo and I got history. We go way back, used to run the same street together..
Sesame Street.
Used to have some of the same friends in common. We would occasionally run into each other whenever I was working on my numbers game with the Count or snorting anything I could get my hands on with Snuffleupagus. In my old, dirtbag druggy days. I’m clean and soberish now, in case DCF is watching this. Bruh, don’t ever share a bag with Snuff. Trust.
Something was always off between the two of us. But it was always civil. Always respectful. Showed each other love and kept it moving. Everything started to change when I got with Michelle. He started hating. Hard. You would think it would be all love when it came to Elmo. Everything I ever heard about buddy was he was this cool dood. I always got the opposite.
I always saw the opposite.
Aye Elmo, hear me? Ya red fuck!
You have everyone fooled. Fooled into thinking you’re this nice, loveable guy.
But I see right through you, Elmo.
See right through that facade you’ve erected in a pathetic attempt to hide who you really are.
I see right through that fake ass smile on your face. Right through that act of yours of pretending to be all cheery, pretending life is so fucking amazing. Acting so happy. I see right through you Elmo. Right through all that bullshit.
Right through those googly, sad fucking eyes.
You’re a fucking hater. You always wished you could be me. Wished you could look as beautiful as me. Beautiful hair. Beautiful soon-to-be Wife. All you could ever get was the love of creepy, furry groupies. You know Vincenzo and Vhodka have fucked each other in full furry gear.
Your loneliness and unhappiness are not my fault Elmo. But for some reason you’ve decided to take it out on me. And bruh, normally I wouldn’t give two fucks. But honestly..
I’m tired of the constant disrespect you show me Elmo. Straight up. Yo, every fucking time I roll up onto Sesame Street here you come, hating on me. In front of everyone. In front of Big Bird. In front of Snuffleupagus. Even the biggest hater Oscar. Doods a fucking Grouch and I’m sick of him and I’m sick of your bullshit.
Sick of you always trying to make me out to be the bitch in front of everyone. With your condescending bullshit. The way you rub your accolades in front of me. Higher selling merch than me. More followers on Twitter. Who the fuck wants to hear what Elmo has to say?
That he’s fucking ticklish?
Yo fuck you Elmo!
No grown man is that ticklish!
Get me under the pits or my rib cage and maybe. But all the fucking time? With that cackling laugh? Dear gawd, that laugh haunts my nightmares. With your googly fucking eyes! Curse whoever PR fuck thought it’d be a great idea to make a toy of you laughing.
Ya red fuck..
Ya didn’t think this day would finally come, right? Always thought you were safe on the Street. Safe with your little crew. Grover, that fake blue fuck. He tell you we burned one down last time I was up there? How he spent the entire time badmouthing you? Saying how your ass really ain’t that ticklish. That you pretend just for the attention. Course not right? Even your own circle knows you’re a fake.
It’s only a matter of time Elmo.
Only a matter of time before I finally expose you for the fake, the fraud you really are. The world will bear witness to the toppling of Elmo off his grand pedestal.
And I will stand over thee and finally put that cackling laughter to an end!
Your days are numbered Elmo. Days of being America’s Darling is over for America is going to have someone new to fawn over. Someone new to gawk over and say how cute they are and just want to hold and squeeze them and give them dome an..
America is going to wake up to a new darling..
Yours truly..
It’s time I took back my respect Elmo.
It’s time I took back my Street.
It’s time we finally settled this.
Once and for all..
The biggest battle this business has ever seen.
Pre-sale records have been smashed in this highly anticipated matchup between two industry giants.
On one side, the Wrestling Gawd himself, your KING Paul Montuori!
Thank you, thank you.
And on the other side..
The most despicable creature to ever step between the ropes.
Hailing from one of the toughest blocks in this beautiful country of ours.
That Baby Monster fuck himself Elmo..
Hold for boos..
Yeah, that Elmo.h
The one with the red fur and those googly eyes.
Those fucking eyes.
Shifty, conniving, scheming eyes..
I’m probably right in thinking everyone’s confused right about now.
Elmo? Why Elmo? He’s so cute and cuddly.
That’s exactly what they want you to think! That Elmo is this cute and cuddly guy. This relatable guy. This everyday, red blooded American. He’s even billed as being American.
Now I know this great country of ours is one big melting pot..
But when was the last fucking time you saw someone that looked like that creepy fuck?!
Honestly..
Ginger to the fire bush power.
Now I’m not judging the fuck based solely on his looks. That would be juvenile of me. And I’m far above that. I’m so mature beyond my years.
Hey you, stop laughing..
It goes beyond his creepy red fur that covers him head to toe..
See, what people don’t know is Elmo and I got history. We go way back, used to run the same street together..
Sesame Street.
Used to have some of the same friends in common. We would occasionally run into each other whenever I was working on my numbers game with the Count or snorting anything I could get my hands on with Snuffleupagus. In my old, dirtbag druggy days. I’m clean and soberish now, in case DCF is watching this. Bruh, don’t ever share a bag with Snuff. Trust.
Something was always off between the two of us. But it was always civil. Always respectful. Showed each other love and kept it moving. Everything started to change when I got with Michelle. He started hating. Hard. You would think it would be all love when it came to Elmo. Everything I ever heard about buddy was he was this cool dood. I always got the opposite.
I always saw the opposite.
Aye Elmo, hear me? Ya red fuck!
You have everyone fooled. Fooled into thinking you’re this nice, loveable guy.
But I see right through you, Elmo.
See right through that facade you’ve erected in a pathetic attempt to hide who you really are.
I see right through that fake ass smile on your face. Right through that act of yours of pretending to be all cheery, pretending life is so fucking amazing. Acting so happy. I see right through you Elmo. Right through all that bullshit.
Right through those googly, sad fucking eyes.
You’re a fucking hater. You always wished you could be me. Wished you could look as beautiful as me. Beautiful hair. Beautiful soon-to-be Wife. All you could ever get was the love of creepy, furry groupies. You know Vincenzo and Vhodka have fucked each other in full furry gear.
Your loneliness and unhappiness are not my fault Elmo. But for some reason you’ve decided to take it out on me. And bruh, normally I wouldn’t give two fucks. But honestly..
I’m tired of the constant disrespect you show me Elmo. Straight up. Yo, every fucking time I roll up onto Sesame Street here you come, hating on me. In front of everyone. In front of Big Bird. In front of Snuffleupagus. Even the biggest hater Oscar. Doods a fucking Grouch and I’m sick of him and I’m sick of your bullshit.
Sick of you always trying to make me out to be the bitch in front of everyone. With your condescending bullshit. The way you rub your accolades in front of me. Higher selling merch than me. More followers on Twitter. Who the fuck wants to hear what Elmo has to say?
That he’s fucking ticklish?
Yo fuck you Elmo!
No grown man is that ticklish!
Get me under the pits or my rib cage and maybe. But all the fucking time? With that cackling laugh? Dear gawd, that laugh haunts my nightmares. With your googly fucking eyes! Curse whoever PR fuck thought it’d be a great idea to make a toy of you laughing.
Ya red fuck..
Ya didn’t think this day would finally come, right? Always thought you were safe on the Street. Safe with your little crew. Grover, that fake blue fuck. He tell you we burned one down last time I was up there? How he spent the entire time badmouthing you? Saying how your ass really ain’t that ticklish. That you pretend just for the attention. Course not right? Even your own circle knows you’re a fake.
It’s only a matter of time Elmo.
Only a matter of time before I finally expose you for the fake, the fraud you really are. The world will bear witness to the toppling of Elmo off his grand pedestal.
And I will stand over thee and finally put that cackling laughter to an end!
Your days are numbered Elmo. Days of being America’s Darling is over for America is going to have someone new to fawn over. Someone new to gawk over and say how cute they are and just want to hold and squeeze them and give them dome an..
America is going to wake up to a new darling..
Yours truly..
It’s time I took back my respect Elmo.
It’s time I took back my Street.
It’s time we finally settled this.
Once and for all..