Post by centurion on Oct 22, 2022 19:46:04 GMT -5
Centurion wasn't quite sure why he was even doing this.
It was Nellie's idea. She had been the one that has pressured Centurion to branch out and reach a much larger audience. It's a great idea financially, but it's vanity projects like these that make the 45 year old wish he had traded in the boots and ring gear for cigars and hot tubs. But, he was here now, so he's going to knock it out of the park.
We open up on an empty stage at the Velvet Rabbit Las Vegas. There, sitting at a table in the audience are three judges - Larry Tact, Sauce Boss, and Theo Pryce, with notebooks, microphones, and recording equipment in front of them. Stepping out from backstage is Centurion, wearing one of his high priced suits, the sound of his shoes hitting the wood floor echoing throughout the room. He steps into the middle of the stage, and waits for a cue.
"Contestant, state your name." One of the judges says into a microphone in a dismissive tone.
"Fuck you, Larry." Centurion responds quickly and calmly. His retort causes a light chuckle to escape Theo, which only causes Larry to get madder and scribble something angrily in his notes.
"You posted a question that many other interviewers have asked throughout the course of my 21 years - if I could fight anyone in history, who would it be? I have some very obvious choices in my head. Sure, if I could punch Hitler, I'd definitely want to do it, but there is an important aspect to this question that needs to be considered, and that is the fact that this fight would be shown to the entire world. This isn't a fight just for my own satisfaction, but for the entertainment of the people, as well as the opportunity to humiliate someone who deserves it. So, who would I fight in a pay per view deathmatch setting with the entire world watching?
Pope Sergius III."
The three judges murmur a bit as they look at each other, taken back a bit by the unusual name that has been placed in front of them.
"History listen for you folks, since I'm sure this is the first time you have heard this name before. These days, the Pope is an incredibly powerful figure that is seen in the same manor, if not greater than, world leaders. People serve him, not the other way around; however, that wasn't always the case.
Back in 900 AD, there was a Roman count and military leader named Theophylact. Old Theo had dreams of being the most powerful man in Rome, which was a goal he would eventually achieve. He had generational wealth, and was wildly respected by the nobles in Europe. Eventually, he amassed an army large enough that he would be able to do whatever he wanted in Rome, including the ability to place whoever he wanted to on the Papal Throne.
Enter Sergius III, another noble who wanted to be Pope, while not wanting to do any of the things a Pope actually does. He was a friend of Theo's, and after Theo had the previous popes thrown in prison, Sergius was able to walk into the building and put on the hat without any opposition. The first thing he did? Ordered the death of his predecessors, of course."
"I'm assuming you know all of this because you were there?" Theo remarks, causing the rest of the judging panel to laugh. Instead of being angry, Centurion smirks at the comment.
"Asshole still owes me money." Centurion jokes in response. "The truth is, a lot of the stories about Sergius have been lost in time, primarily because the Catholic Church doesn't want anyone to know how much of a puppet their leader was during that time. Sergius did whatever Theo ordered. The only time Sergius actually made his own commands was when it benefited him personally. He didn't care about being Pope - he wanted to party and use the money of the Papal States to fund his habits. He had a wife who was 14 years old…and that's the lover that was documented. Rumors have it he was with many young girls at the time. He also has no problem ordering the deaths of political rivals, and rivals of his friend Theo.
Simply put, Pope Sergius III was a weak, immoral man who was handed a powerful position and used it to do the bidding of someone else. He was an evil son of a bitch…but he wasn't the worst person in the world.
Hell, he wasn't even the worst Pope of all time. So, why did I choose him? Out of all the people in history, why did I decide to choose some 10th century Pope as my dream opponent?
It's because he never truly got what was coming to him.
Adolf Hitler was the most evil bastard in history, but everyone knows who he is, and his life ends in a ditch covered in gasoline. Pope John XII was undoubtedly a worse human being, but he was killed by a jealous husband who strangled him to death. Hell, Osama Bin Laden caused the death of thousands, but his body is at the bottom of the ocean.
Pope Sergius III died peacefully in his home, and the world has completely forgotten about him. While his pal Theo is remembered as the brutal leader of that era, Sergius gets off Scot free simply because he was a puppet. These are the folks in history that need to be exposed and dragged through the streets - the folks that profited off of other people's pain and were able to get away with it.
So I not only want to kick Pope Sergius III's ass, but I want to do it in front of a giant audience. I want to expose him for the fraud that is he, and I want him to regret ever putting himself in a position of power. So…" Centurion claps his hands together. "When do we make this happen?"
The three judges look up from their notes, confused. They look at each other, before deferring to Sauce Boss to answer. "Make what happen?"
"My match!" Centurion answers definitively. "When do I fight Sergius?"
"I don't…" Sauce Boss starts to answer, but doesn't quite know how to respond to such a ridiculous request. "Mr. Cortinovis, we can't schedule a match between you and a man who died over a millennium ago."
"Well, what the hell?!" Centurion angrily responds. "This is pro wrestling! I've seen time travelers, real life dragons, and fighting robots before, and you're telling me you can't set up a match between me and Pope Sergius III?!" Centurion kicks his foot against the floor before turning away from the judges and storming off the stage. As he does, he mumbles loud enough for the judges to hear.
"Fuckin…waste of time."
It was Nellie's idea. She had been the one that has pressured Centurion to branch out and reach a much larger audience. It's a great idea financially, but it's vanity projects like these that make the 45 year old wish he had traded in the boots and ring gear for cigars and hot tubs. But, he was here now, so he's going to knock it out of the park.
We open up on an empty stage at the Velvet Rabbit Las Vegas. There, sitting at a table in the audience are three judges - Larry Tact, Sauce Boss, and Theo Pryce, with notebooks, microphones, and recording equipment in front of them. Stepping out from backstage is Centurion, wearing one of his high priced suits, the sound of his shoes hitting the wood floor echoing throughout the room. He steps into the middle of the stage, and waits for a cue.
"Contestant, state your name." One of the judges says into a microphone in a dismissive tone.
"Fuck you, Larry." Centurion responds quickly and calmly. His retort causes a light chuckle to escape Theo, which only causes Larry to get madder and scribble something angrily in his notes.
"You posted a question that many other interviewers have asked throughout the course of my 21 years - if I could fight anyone in history, who would it be? I have some very obvious choices in my head. Sure, if I could punch Hitler, I'd definitely want to do it, but there is an important aspect to this question that needs to be considered, and that is the fact that this fight would be shown to the entire world. This isn't a fight just for my own satisfaction, but for the entertainment of the people, as well as the opportunity to humiliate someone who deserves it. So, who would I fight in a pay per view deathmatch setting with the entire world watching?
Pope Sergius III."
The three judges murmur a bit as they look at each other, taken back a bit by the unusual name that has been placed in front of them.
"History listen for you folks, since I'm sure this is the first time you have heard this name before. These days, the Pope is an incredibly powerful figure that is seen in the same manor, if not greater than, world leaders. People serve him, not the other way around; however, that wasn't always the case.
Back in 900 AD, there was a Roman count and military leader named Theophylact. Old Theo had dreams of being the most powerful man in Rome, which was a goal he would eventually achieve. He had generational wealth, and was wildly respected by the nobles in Europe. Eventually, he amassed an army large enough that he would be able to do whatever he wanted in Rome, including the ability to place whoever he wanted to on the Papal Throne.
Enter Sergius III, another noble who wanted to be Pope, while not wanting to do any of the things a Pope actually does. He was a friend of Theo's, and after Theo had the previous popes thrown in prison, Sergius was able to walk into the building and put on the hat without any opposition. The first thing he did? Ordered the death of his predecessors, of course."
"I'm assuming you know all of this because you were there?" Theo remarks, causing the rest of the judging panel to laugh. Instead of being angry, Centurion smirks at the comment.
"Asshole still owes me money." Centurion jokes in response. "The truth is, a lot of the stories about Sergius have been lost in time, primarily because the Catholic Church doesn't want anyone to know how much of a puppet their leader was during that time. Sergius did whatever Theo ordered. The only time Sergius actually made his own commands was when it benefited him personally. He didn't care about being Pope - he wanted to party and use the money of the Papal States to fund his habits. He had a wife who was 14 years old…and that's the lover that was documented. Rumors have it he was with many young girls at the time. He also has no problem ordering the deaths of political rivals, and rivals of his friend Theo.
Simply put, Pope Sergius III was a weak, immoral man who was handed a powerful position and used it to do the bidding of someone else. He was an evil son of a bitch…but he wasn't the worst person in the world.
Hell, he wasn't even the worst Pope of all time. So, why did I choose him? Out of all the people in history, why did I decide to choose some 10th century Pope as my dream opponent?
It's because he never truly got what was coming to him.
Adolf Hitler was the most evil bastard in history, but everyone knows who he is, and his life ends in a ditch covered in gasoline. Pope John XII was undoubtedly a worse human being, but he was killed by a jealous husband who strangled him to death. Hell, Osama Bin Laden caused the death of thousands, but his body is at the bottom of the ocean.
Pope Sergius III died peacefully in his home, and the world has completely forgotten about him. While his pal Theo is remembered as the brutal leader of that era, Sergius gets off Scot free simply because he was a puppet. These are the folks in history that need to be exposed and dragged through the streets - the folks that profited off of other people's pain and were able to get away with it.
So I not only want to kick Pope Sergius III's ass, but I want to do it in front of a giant audience. I want to expose him for the fraud that is he, and I want him to regret ever putting himself in a position of power. So…" Centurion claps his hands together. "When do we make this happen?"
The three judges look up from their notes, confused. They look at each other, before deferring to Sauce Boss to answer. "Make what happen?"
"My match!" Centurion answers definitively. "When do I fight Sergius?"
"I don't…" Sauce Boss starts to answer, but doesn't quite know how to respond to such a ridiculous request. "Mr. Cortinovis, we can't schedule a match between you and a man who died over a millennium ago."
"Well, what the hell?!" Centurion angrily responds. "This is pro wrestling! I've seen time travelers, real life dragons, and fighting robots before, and you're telling me you can't set up a match between me and Pope Sergius III?!" Centurion kicks his foot against the floor before turning away from the judges and storming off the stage. As he does, he mumbles loud enough for the judges to hear.
"Fuckin…waste of time."