Post by allenchaney on Oct 7, 2022 20:22:12 GMT -5
ALLEN CHANEY: In the Cosmic Joke of Life, it’s an important skill to learn to differentiate between Setups and Punchlines.
Allen is pacing back and forth on a stage in front of a brick wall. He’s wearing a hoodie and on a stool in front of him is a beat up notebook full of joke premises; scribbled-on bar napkins and post-it notes sticking out from between several pages. We appear to be in a Comedy Club though it is not open. Some staff are wiping down tables and taking out trash but Allen ignores them.
ALLEN CHANEY: It’s not just a beginning and an end. It’s structure. One joke flows into the next. Once you see the structure you can play around with it. Exercise some level of control of it. That’s what it means to be a Comedian.
Allen stops pacing and faces the invisible audience.
ALLEN CHANEY: So if the setup premise is ‘Why the hell is this funny fat fuck a Wrestler?’ then I guess we need to flesh it all out and come up with a Punchline, don’t we?
Allen approaches his notebook and opens to one of the first few pages.
ALLEN CHANEY: We start with a quiet shy fat kid. Got into Carlin probably WAY too young. Discovered Bill Hicks in high school. Was writing his first 15 minute set since he was 13 and never stepped on the stage to perform any of it until he was 19. Years of only doing bits and jokes for friends and family until…until he KNEW he could do it. Goes up for his first time and… he fucking sucks… but that only makes him want it more. No better fuel than rejection. Makes okay money at it but has to work multiple jobs to keep the dream alive. Fat guy becomes a bouncer and the right people notice he’s pretty good at throwing people and gets asked if he wants to make a few bucks at it and… same story. He sucks at it at first but fast forward past a few world titles and a canceled sitcom and here we are.
Allen makes a few scribbles in the notebook with a pen but stops.
ALLEN CHANEY: But that’s how I got here not WHO I am and WHY I do this so yeah…
Allen scratches out a few lines in the notebook.
ALLEN CHANEY: The important bit is that in both Wrestling and Comedy I tried so hard to play a ‘character’ that people loved. Then I thought maybe I’d do better being a character that everyone hated and… well no one truly appreciated Allen Chaney until he was just….himself. Myself. And who is that? Allen Chaney is a guy who likes being good at his job and his job is to be entertaining while beating seven gradient shades of piss out of people. There’s intangibles to it, too… Hmmm…
Allen rubs his messy facial hair before he starts to scribble in the notebook again.
ALLEN CHANEY: So let me put it this way. A guy with a dumb scarf bumps into me while I’m walking down the street. I apologize. He says ‘watch it you fat bitch’ and walks away. A few days later I step into the ring and I get to pretend whoever is across the ring from me is Scarf Bastard. I then get to very therapeutically cause them grievous bodily harm and then I get fucking paid for it. So why am I a wrestler? Why the fuck isn’t EVERYONE a wrestler!? Imagine if you could put every shitty coworker you’ve ever had through a table and people would cheer you for it then you get cut a living wage for it and then sometimes you get enormous jewelry for your waist. This job is fucking weird. I love it.
A few more scribbled notes.
ALLEN CHANEY: So this has been your crash course in the Comedy that is life…because when Life is a Joke you can sit there and fucking cry about how unfair it all is or you can CONTROL the joke. Become the Comedian…and it all starts with the structure so repeat after me; Setup.
Allen closes his notebook and smirks as the stage lights go dark.
ALLEN CHANEY: Punchline.
Allen is pacing back and forth on a stage in front of a brick wall. He’s wearing a hoodie and on a stool in front of him is a beat up notebook full of joke premises; scribbled-on bar napkins and post-it notes sticking out from between several pages. We appear to be in a Comedy Club though it is not open. Some staff are wiping down tables and taking out trash but Allen ignores them.
ALLEN CHANEY: It’s not just a beginning and an end. It’s structure. One joke flows into the next. Once you see the structure you can play around with it. Exercise some level of control of it. That’s what it means to be a Comedian.
Allen stops pacing and faces the invisible audience.
ALLEN CHANEY: So if the setup premise is ‘Why the hell is this funny fat fuck a Wrestler?’ then I guess we need to flesh it all out and come up with a Punchline, don’t we?
Allen approaches his notebook and opens to one of the first few pages.
ALLEN CHANEY: We start with a quiet shy fat kid. Got into Carlin probably WAY too young. Discovered Bill Hicks in high school. Was writing his first 15 minute set since he was 13 and never stepped on the stage to perform any of it until he was 19. Years of only doing bits and jokes for friends and family until…until he KNEW he could do it. Goes up for his first time and… he fucking sucks… but that only makes him want it more. No better fuel than rejection. Makes okay money at it but has to work multiple jobs to keep the dream alive. Fat guy becomes a bouncer and the right people notice he’s pretty good at throwing people and gets asked if he wants to make a few bucks at it and… same story. He sucks at it at first but fast forward past a few world titles and a canceled sitcom and here we are.
Allen makes a few scribbles in the notebook with a pen but stops.
ALLEN CHANEY: But that’s how I got here not WHO I am and WHY I do this so yeah…
Allen scratches out a few lines in the notebook.
ALLEN CHANEY: The important bit is that in both Wrestling and Comedy I tried so hard to play a ‘character’ that people loved. Then I thought maybe I’d do better being a character that everyone hated and… well no one truly appreciated Allen Chaney until he was just….himself. Myself. And who is that? Allen Chaney is a guy who likes being good at his job and his job is to be entertaining while beating seven gradient shades of piss out of people. There’s intangibles to it, too… Hmmm…
Allen rubs his messy facial hair before he starts to scribble in the notebook again.
ALLEN CHANEY: So let me put it this way. A guy with a dumb scarf bumps into me while I’m walking down the street. I apologize. He says ‘watch it you fat bitch’ and walks away. A few days later I step into the ring and I get to pretend whoever is across the ring from me is Scarf Bastard. I then get to very therapeutically cause them grievous bodily harm and then I get fucking paid for it. So why am I a wrestler? Why the fuck isn’t EVERYONE a wrestler!? Imagine if you could put every shitty coworker you’ve ever had through a table and people would cheer you for it then you get cut a living wage for it and then sometimes you get enormous jewelry for your waist. This job is fucking weird. I love it.
A few more scribbled notes.
ALLEN CHANEY: So this has been your crash course in the Comedy that is life…because when Life is a Joke you can sit there and fucking cry about how unfair it all is or you can CONTROL the joke. Become the Comedian…and it all starts with the structure so repeat after me; Setup.
Allen closes his notebook and smirks as the stage lights go dark.
ALLEN CHANEY: Punchline.